Wednesday, June 13, 2012

It Takes a Special Man....

...to hold me as long and as often as I need while I weep for another and wipe away my tears
...to let me tell story after story about my husband
...to nurture my mind and soul as I try to find my place in this new life
...to fall in love with, and take in, an unemployed widow with three cats
...to look at pictures of my last love all over the house, day in and day out
...to have in-laws to deal with before we are even engaged
...to be patient with a cat who sometimes relieves herself in inappropriate places
...to know, and accept, that any number of triggers, or nothing at all, can spur tears for who I lost
...to allow room on his side of the closet for a couple pieces of another man's clothing that his widow can't part with
...to listen with interest, and ask questions, when I start so many stories with, "Brian and I...."
...to understand that I share stories of my experience, but that I'm not comparing or expecting our life together to be the same
...to talk to me candidly about the strengths and weaknesses of my marriage and my late husband
...to be open to my desire to have contact with Brian, and to talk open-mindedly about those possibilities
...to let me play another man's favorite songs on road trips, even though they sometimes make me cry
...to not roll his eyes when we talk about what "the cats should call him" and whether it's okay to call him "dad," and which cats can do that (I was already a "single mom" when I got Mittons....and yes, I know none of the cats can actually "call" him anything)
...to point out to others my tattoo tribute to a big, Irish red-headed Chicago Bears fan he never knew
...to boast about the book I'm writing about lessons I've learned as a widow, instead of shirking from the conversation and avoiding the issue
...to meet, know, and love Brian's friends and family as his own
...to cause people we've just met to tell me how nice and kind he has been to them, upon just meeting them
...to make me glow while I talk about him, and every time I look at him
...to make me feel so content every night as I lay in bed next to him, feeling blessed to share a life and home together
...to make me feel loved and whole again
...to make me feel that everything is going to be okay, and to cause me to have faith in this life and the next
...to make me feel like my life fits me and I am exactly where I'm meant to be, after all that has happened

...for me to love him.

I have a special man.

3 comments:

  1. Hope to meet this special man end of July!

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  2. this made me cry. and gives me hope in a sea of disillusioned experiences...thanks Sheldon, for being a man among men

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  3. This gives me hope. I lost my husband three and a half months ago, and I hope that some day I find a special man like yours.

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