Monday, March 25, 2013

So Much to Say, So Much to Say...

But, most importantly, this:

Sheldon and I are engaged!

I am one happy woman.

There's been a lot of stuff happen that I haven't written about yet or that I am working on writing about -- the proposal, the holidays, a death in the family, the IRS, dental work, running.  So I kind of stopped writing for a while because I wasn't keeping up with things as they were happening -- but I thought I'd just do a quick blurb to the blogworld to say this:

I am a widow, and I am happy.  I love my life. 

I still cry about Brian's death, I still talk to Brian at times, and I will always talk about Brian.  Sometimes certain situations are made harder because of my grief or because of things that go along with being a widow.  But I've also learned and grown so much in the past three years, and I believe I am a better person now than I was when Brian was alive, when I was sort of blissfully ignorant to the realities of life and death.  I have a greater capacity for love and compassion than I once did, and a greater appreciation for happiness and life.  I am in a better place now than I ever have been.

Let me be clear -- it is not as if getting engaged has "fixed" me or taken away my grief.  Does it make me happy to be engaged to Sheldon?  Yes, more than I can say.  Does it put me in a better place than I was?  Yes, because I love him and my life is better with him than it was without it.  He is a wonderful person and I am lucky to have him as my partner.  Does it mean my grieving is over?  No.  That will be a part of me forever.  Does this mean I will no longer think about Brian, talk about him, talk about my loss, think of myself as a widow?  Of course not.  It's just that now, I will be a widow and a wife.  And I am happy.

We are getting married in a few months.  I'm sure I'll be blogging a lot about the upcoming wedding, my feelings and emotions that this brings up, the practical questions for a soon to be wedded widow, etc. on top of a ton of other things I've not yet covered.  For now, a blog icebreaker was in store to announce our happy news.

I am in love and I am happy!!  This year marks a new beginning for me, a new chapter in my life, and I look forward to writing the rest of my story.


  1. Congratulations! I too became engaged in November and am wedding next week. It doesn't "fix" anything, but what joy it has brought to my life. I wish the same to you!

  2. I'm so happy for you. You've been able to move on. You've shown that it's possible. I just finished reading a novel, REALITIES, in which a young widow writes to her dead husband because she has no one else with whom she can share her most intimate thoughts. She writes about her present life, where she's just surviving from day-to day, and about their past life together. The novel wasn't all sad. It was interesting and funny and moving all at the same time. It showed the possibilities in life, just as you have. My best wishes to you.

  3. Hi,

    I know this is going to sound crazy, but I am also a young widow (widowed at 31--my husband was 33 when he died 2.5 years ago). I was searching online for a young widow blog and came across yours!! I'd love to ask you a few questions...from widow to widow...about how you are handling certain situations. If that is ok, please email me Thank you and congratulations!

  4. Hi,My name is Zaira
    This is so crazy but I'm also a widow (widowed at 28-my husband was 29 when he died, he died 8 years ago). I always wonder on line and try to maybee interact with woman who have lost a love one. I'm also happily engaged but at the same time it has also been a process with our relationship and being a widow. I stared a facebook page call "young-widows" also you can contac me at or email me at
    I know it was hard for me to find someone that had gone thru the same I went, so if you want to vent out, I'm here, just an email away...

  5. I am Mariam used every single spell worker on the internet, spent untold amounts of money and discovered they are all fakes...i was the fool though; doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. In the end, I decided that I wanted a tarot reading to know what my future held for me; I contacted a woman who lives locally to me and she told me about a man named (Priests Abija); he does not advertise on the internet, has another job for income, has no set prices, makes no false promises and refuses to help anyone that cannot be helped and even helps for free sometimes, he will give you proof before taking money. He is a wonderful man and he was the only person who actually gave me real results. I really hope he doesn't mind me advertising his contact on the internet but I'm sure any help/ extra work will benefit him here as (518) 303-6207 or He travel sometimes.i cant give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he’ will replied to any emails asap,love marriage,finance, job promotion ,lottery Voodoo,poker voodoo,golf Voodoo,Law & Court case Spells,money voodoo,weigh loss voodoo,any sicknesses voodoo,Trouble in marriage,HIV AIDS,it's all he does Hope this helps everyone that is in a desperate situation as I once was; I know how it feels to hold onto something and never have a chance to move on because of the false promises and then to feel trapped in wanting something