Tuesday, May 7, 2013


Lately I've felt pulled in a million directions.  Am I doing all I need to be, all I can be doing, all I should be as a real estate agent, a lawyer, a fiancée, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a soon-to-be daughter-in-law, etc.?  How about as ME?  As Wendy?  Am I taking care of myself? 

I've been having trouble sleeping and have had anxiety lately.  Not panic attacks, but heartburn, loss of appetite, tearful spells, and insomnia.  It seems that my to-do list grows and grows, even as I feebly cross things off.  And every time I turn around, I get another text, email or phone call -- and more often than not, it's someone needing something else.  Last night I went to bed at half past midnight (had to stay up to see the exciting double-overtime Spurs playoff win!) and after laying in bed awake until 3-something, finally got up and started doing things in the middle of the night/morning.  I started making a to-do list, emailing, and organizing for today.  Then I went to the couch to watch TV until I dozed off about 4 or 5...only to wake up a few hours later. 

One thing's for sure....I've neglected writing.  I've neglected self-reflection and me time.

But enough about me -- I feel like I'm letting people down all the time.  I know there are people waiting on me for things -- favors they've asked of me and that I agreed to do, cards I've been meaning to write, gifts I've been meaning to order and mail for various occasions, a guest room that remains unsuitable for the family visiting in a couple days, a stool sample I need to collect and get to the vet (nothing wrong - just routine testing), etc.  How do I get all these things done, and fulfill my social obligations to all my family and friends, while working and planning a wedding?  I feel like there are a lot of balls in the air, and it seems more keep getting thrown in my direction.

I'm trying to find some balance again....but please, bear with me while I tread water for a while.  Soon enough, I'll find my way back to a place where I can stand comfortably with my head above the water.

1 comment:

  1. Hello old friend.... just a heads up.... all of this is NORMAL. Our wedding is next Saturday and I've felt as you described for about 16 months. I can't wait for the wedding to be over so I can have more me time again. Try to hang in there. Only 24 hours in a day :)