This is a poem I found on a grief newsletter mailed to me from the funeral home (there are periodic mailings for a year, I think). Some of this applies more to the immediate time after a death than where I am right now, but I still really like it and I think it perfectly sums up how I felt, and how I think most grieving people feel:
Come walk with me...this journey will be very lonely.
Please don't try to stop my tears! Bottling them up inside hurts too much.
I don't expect answers...just a listening ear as I ask the questions.
My story may get old, but I need to tell it again and again...this is healing.
For a while I may forget to do the simplest thing...gently remind me.
If I get angry, please forgive me. It's not you...just my circumstances.
You can't possibly fill all my alone time...moments will do!
A "thinking of you" phone call will brighten my day!
Don't give up on me! I may seem fine and then unexpectedly appear
To go backward. This is normal I am told.
I need to hear my loved one's name. Don't be afraid!
It hurts me more if I never hear it.
Laughter is soothing to a breaking heart...tell me
The funny joke you just heard!
Please understand if I want to be alone.
Resting and taking time for myself is necessary.
Knowing that you will walk with me, not carry me gives me courage
And strength to face my changed life. I am not alone.
In my heart I have the assurance that God has promised to never leave me.
But He has created me with human needs for...a smile, shared tears, a hug, a listening ear.
Thank you for all of those things and allowing me to walk at my own pace!