But, most importantly, this:
Sheldon and I are engaged!
I am one happy woman.
There's been a lot of stuff happen that I haven't written about yet or that I am working on writing about -- the proposal, the holidays, a death in the family, the IRS, dental work, running. So I kind of stopped writing for a while because I wasn't keeping up with things as they were happening -- but I thought I'd just do a quick blurb to the blogworld to say this:
I am a widow, and I am happy. I love my life.
I still cry about Brian's death, I still talk to Brian at times, and I will always talk about Brian. Sometimes certain situations are made harder because of my grief or because of things that go along with being a widow. But I've also learned and grown so much in the past three years, and I believe I am a better person now than I was when Brian was alive, when I was sort of blissfully ignorant to the realities of life and death. I have a greater capacity for love and compassion than I once did, and a greater appreciation for happiness and life. I am in a better place now than I ever have been.
Let me be clear -- it is not as if getting engaged has "fixed" me or taken away my grief. Does it make me happy to be engaged to Sheldon? Yes, more than I can say. Does it put me in a better place than I was? Yes, because I love him and my life is better with him than it was without it. He is a wonderful person and I am lucky to have him as my partner. Does it mean my grieving is over? No. That will be a part of me forever. Does this mean I will no longer think about Brian, talk about him, talk about my loss, think of myself as a widow? Of course not. It's just that now, I will be a widow and a wife. And I am happy.
We are getting married in a few months. I'm sure I'll be blogging a lot about the upcoming wedding, my feelings and emotions that this brings up, the practical questions for a soon to be wedded widow, etc. on top of a ton of other things I've not yet covered. For now, a blog icebreaker was in store to announce our happy news.
I am in love and I am happy!! This year marks a new beginning for me, a new chapter in my life, and I look forward to writing the rest of my story.
Sheldon and I are engaged!
I am one happy woman.
There's been a lot of stuff happen that I haven't written about yet or that I am working on writing about -- the proposal, the holidays, a death in the family, the IRS, dental work, running. So I kind of stopped writing for a while because I wasn't keeping up with things as they were happening -- but I thought I'd just do a quick blurb to the blogworld to say this:
I am a widow, and I am happy. I love my life.
I still cry about Brian's death, I still talk to Brian at times, and I will always talk about Brian. Sometimes certain situations are made harder because of my grief or because of things that go along with being a widow. But I've also learned and grown so much in the past three years, and I believe I am a better person now than I was when Brian was alive, when I was sort of blissfully ignorant to the realities of life and death. I have a greater capacity for love and compassion than I once did, and a greater appreciation for happiness and life. I am in a better place now than I ever have been.
Let me be clear -- it is not as if getting engaged has "fixed" me or taken away my grief. Does it make me happy to be engaged to Sheldon? Yes, more than I can say. Does it put me in a better place than I was? Yes, because I love him and my life is better with him than it was without it. He is a wonderful person and I am lucky to have him as my partner. Does it mean my grieving is over? No. That will be a part of me forever. Does this mean I will no longer think about Brian, talk about him, talk about my loss, think of myself as a widow? Of course not. It's just that now, I will be a widow and a wife. And I am happy.
We are getting married in a few months. I'm sure I'll be blogging a lot about the upcoming wedding, my feelings and emotions that this brings up, the practical questions for a soon to be wedded widow, etc. on top of a ton of other things I've not yet covered. For now, a blog icebreaker was in store to announce our happy news.
I am in love and I am happy!! This year marks a new beginning for me, a new chapter in my life, and I look forward to writing the rest of my story.
