Saturday, March 10, 2012

So the Saying Goes

"Live each day like it's your last."
"What would you do if you knew this was the last day of your life?"
"Live/love/run/sing/dance/[insert verb here] like there's no tomorrow."
"Live for today."

How on earth are we supposed to take the lessons of those expressions -- a lesson deeply compounded in one's psyche after a sudden loss, like Brian's death at age 31 -- and balance that with some degree of planning for the future and building a better tomorrow?  How do I balance enjoying life right now and building toward what I want for my big-picture goals?  It's something I am struggling with right now as I get my new career in real estate going.  It is hard to choose between birthday parties, weddings, etc., and open houses and community-relationship building on weekends.  On the one hand, I know all too well that a wedding or a birthday party might be the last one I get to spend with someone I love.  On the other, I have to commit to my future if I'm going to have the kind of life I want.  I can't have it all.

I think I've also come to the realization that I've spent a lot of the past couple years living for the moment, trying to take each day as it came.  My future ambitions and larger goals were, quite simply, things I couldn't see through the fog.  I think, subconsciously, I was so afraid to think about my future --wondering what the point of it all was, maybe somewhat expecting I would die young as well, and most of all, dreading the thought of actually living a long life and having to spend so many more decades on this earth without Brian.  Of course I didn't have a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life at that point, as a new widow.

Sometimes I still feel lost.  I'm a bit scared, to be honest, to be starting up in a new career.  I am just hoping that this works out, that once I've built up a bit of a client base and I have appointments, showings, and closings every week, that it will be a career that leaves me happy and fulfilled.  Most of all, in starting this career, a lot of real estate results in the future are based on what you do today -- the person you call today might give you a lead that turns into business (and a commission check) three months down the road, the person you meet while door-knocking to promote an open house might want to sell their home with you three years down the road.  I am in the beginning phases not of a new job, but a new career.  By virtue of this fact, I am being forced to think about and plan for the future.  I'm having to think long-term, to imagine what I want the rest of my decades of life to look like.

While I'm anxious about this, I am also relieved.  It feels good to realize that I'm looking at life the way it is meant to be seen again.  I finally am thinking about a future, and excited about what it might hold.  I finally believe again that there is value in setting goals, working to achieve them, and thinking long-term.

1 comment:

  1. Wendy,
    As a real estate for many years, I know where you are coming from. Many dinners out had to be pre-empted when a call from a client or agent came in on an offer, many family events unattended while I tended to business. It's a 7 day a week, 7am to 10pm sort of watch. On the other hand, you get to thoughfully decide when you close your own shop. I'll be happy to give you my insight on how I and other agents I knew handled it. There are ways, and fostering your relationships with other agents you can rely on to pinch hit for your is key.

    You will be a smashing success.