tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2619151975968692978.post3532845338940990132..comments2023-12-04T02:33:47.206-06:00Comments on Young, Widowed & Rebuilding: Don't Tea-se Me (Bro)!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18287786945607376110noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2619151975968692978.post-11495997121515729412011-08-30T13:13:07.937-05:002011-08-30T13:13:07.937-05:00I admit, I occasionally still melt down over the s...I admit, I occasionally still melt down over the small mishaps in life too if I am already upset. :) But I do better than I used to for sure! For a while after my mom died, I felt like such a helpless victim, like I was being toyed with to see just how much pain I could stand, like someone was just out to remove the best things of my life from me. (There were a lot of other hard things happening all at once in my life at the time, though that was by far the worst.) So when I'd stub my toe, spill something, or things in general went wrong, it was like, "Can't I just get a break?! I had to lose my mom AND this just happened?" It took me a while, but I learned that I am not a victim, that it just happened and that it isn't fair or right the way it happened but that it just...did. This might sound really new age-y, but I have come to believe that we chart out what our lives are going to entail and who we're going to spend them with before we ever get here, and I think that in spite of the unfairness, I knew it was going to happen for reasons I can't remember on this side. If that makes sense. When I stopped feeling like things were happening "to" me and realized I could be in control of my reactions to things like you say, it changed everything. And also, like you said, after experiencing an earth-shaking (ha, couldn't resist the pun) loss, sometimes those dumb little irritations in life just pale in comparison. "You think THAT upsets me? Don't you know what I've already survived?!!"<br /><br />Having said all that, I did wake up in the middle of the night last night to pee for the 100th time and had a suddenly sore throat and stubbed my toe really hard on the way back to bed as I lumbered my big pregnant body in the dark...and I shed a couple of tears and felt a tad sorry for myself til my toe stopped hurting. lolJenarcissist @ the closet narcissisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07427993886300110387noreply@blogger.com